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Planet Parody Today's Date:

Man of Steel Pre-Production Memo

After posting today's official picture of Henry Cavill as Superman from Zack Snyder's Superman: The Man of Steel, I got this forwarded email from occasional Fanboy Planet contributor J. Dobbs Rosa -- with a message. We cannot vouch for its veracity, but it does sound frighteningly possible, doesn't it?

From J. Dobbs Rosa:

Great Rao! Livin' in LA is crazy, dude! This email is blowing up amongst the insider nerds! Just wanted to brag a little. Whatever you do, don't publish this!

oops...

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Steve Graxton <sgraxdog@WB.com>
Date: Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 1:17 PM
Subject: Re: Man of Steel Pre-Production
To: "Zack Snyder" <Z@ga'hoole.com>

Zack,

Just got your latest draft for Man of Steel and we couldn't be more excited. It really has that Snyder Sizzle we talked about when we signed you, but what else could we expect from a visionary director who has brought so many legendary properties to life for us as both a company and fans?

That said, we do have a few notes:

-The on-line marketing team appreciates you thinking of them, but they feel that we simply got lucky with previous meme contagability and so they say you can drop the "This is Red Kryptonite Poisoning."/"THIS. IS. METROPOLIS!" scene.

-I know that the last time we talked, we discussed increasing the romantic aspects of the mythos for the female audience, but we are a little nervous about how you will be handling this new scene of Lois and Clark's first date ending with a "tastefully gentle rape" to an acoustic cover of REM's I Am Superman.

-Speaking of the fairer demographic, but also from a copyright point of view we would request you use the female characters' names just as they are established in the comic. We think that long-standing fans might be confused that Lois Lane is only ever referred to as "Headliner" and Lana Lang as "Country Girl" and to be honest we're not even sure which character “Slutburger” is inspired by.

-Standards and practices says we will absolutely have to CG some underwear over Brainiac's "green wang."

-Finally our biggest worry, and to be honest the reason we pushed back the release date. We are all about approaching old properties in new and novel ways, but your central conceit that all of Superman's exploits in Metropolis are just an elaborate fantasy world protecting teen-aged Clark Kent's psyche while he get is brutally molested by the staff of Smallville Orphanage while he plans his escape has everyone somewhat concerned.

Other than that we couldn't be more excited. Keep up the great work!

-- Steve Graxton Assistant Producer, WB

PS One last thing, I personally don't mind, but in the future please consider who is cc'd on these email chains just from an aspect of professionalism. A little courtesy goes a long way and Johnson, who hasn't been on the team with you as long as the rest of us, simply asked how your 35 page screenplay would make for a feature length film and, with all due respect, "Slow Motion, Bitches." is just not an acceptable response.

J. Dobbs Rosa

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